Crap...

I am a statue. The dance department is full of pigeons. Just dozens and dozens of pigeons.

National Talk Like a Pirate Day

Avast ye landlubbers!! Guess what t'dae is! Aye, tis true!! 'Tis National Laundry Day! Arrr. So git out thar and scrub them britches!

Arrr!

'Tis also Talk Like a Pirate Day, but ye all knew that.

Don't believe me?

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

Be ye sure t' watch the Pirate Videos, arr!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKCkbWDGwE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZxulOJvc1U

Arr.

Session 8/16

How to Build Furniture: Episode Eight

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Danny G. and Lara W. discuss the dangers of faulty furniture. This episode: Death by Furniture!

How to Build Furniture: Episode Nine

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Danny G. and Lara W. use their improvisational skill to make a desk. This episode: Furniture Building as Performance Art

How to Build Furniture: Episode Ten

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Danny G. and Lara W. use their mind powers to avoid carny juices. Also, Lara sings a touching rendition of Sometimes when we Hutch. This episode: Carny Juices!

How to Build Furniture: Episode Eleven

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Danny G. and Lara W. lose some screws, and following the paper instructions. This episode: Following the Instructions

How to Build Furniture: Episode Twelve

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Danny G. and Lara W. begin to piss each other off. This episode: Lara makes the "list" and Danny is a "genus"

How to Build Furniture: Episode Thirteen

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Danny G. and Lara W. are underneath a desk. Danny just cant take it anymore! This episode: Danny Has a Meltdown

How to Build Furniture: Episode Fourteen

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Danny G. and Lara W. realize there are not enough holes. They take matters into their own hands. This episode: Calling Customer Service

Munchkin Land Considered Derogatory

You know in "The Wizard of Oz" how Dorothy ends up in "Munchkin-land"? What is that about? I mean, why on earth would vertically challenged individuals actually call themselves "munchkins"? Surely, this is a term that can only be applied to a race that is vertically short IN COMPARISON to a taller race. If they had no contact with taller peoples, why would they call themselves "short"? They are not short! They are a perfectly acceptable size.

AND, assuming they did know about taller races (witches and things) why would they use such a derogatory term to describe their own civilization? Munchkinland? Smacks of Disney propoganda to me!

I really need to stop procrastinating like this.

How to Build Furniture: Episode One

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Danny G. and Lara W. build office furniture out of a box. Watch the hilarious antics! This episode: The Danny Tornado

How to Build Furniture: Episode Two

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Danny G. and Lara W. continue to build furniture. This episode: What We Learned About Foam

How to Build Furniture: Episode Three

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Danny G. and Lara W. build furniture. Yikes. This episode: Danny Learns the Alphabet

How to Build Furniture: Episode Four

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Danny G. and Lara W. build more office furniture. This episode: Drills and Protective Head Gear

How to Build Furniture: Episode Five

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More slightly inept furniture building! This episode: Bookshelves

How to Build Furniture: Episode Six

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This stuff is getting obscure and weird. Weirdos! This episode: So a badger and a hutch...

How to Build Furniture: Episode Seven

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Danny G. and Lara W. get dangerous with office furniture. This episode: Protective Eye Gear

The Dancing Master

There was a dance-master from Halle
whose legs were unusually small.
To make himself big
he put on a large wig,
and heels that were 8 inches tall.

Thank you

Things People Say

These are actual things people have said to me in conversation recently that sound pretty funny when taken out of context:

(1) Aw, I love old drunk people! (Erin)

(2) It looks alright, but it smells like corn. (Greg)

(3) I'm looking at a goat with an extra leg growing out of its head. (my mother)